“Essential” is a word that I have mixed feelings about. Certainly some things are more important than others, but that is based on a set of values or criteria. When it comes to the pandemic, essential workers are people like grocers and health care workers, which is understandable. When it comes to a thought, it’s a little trickier. I remember back in grad school my professor gave students the exercise of summarizing an entire thought, the thesis, down to a single sentence As one ponders on how to trim the fat of off a thought, they are left asking, “What is essential?”
I found myself asking that same question again and again during this pandemic, my wedding in less than a month – four weeks to be exact. Originally, my fiancee and I had all these wonderful plans and a vision of how things were going to be. Since the pandemic began earlier this year, those plans and vision changed dramatically: a guest list of 130 people to immediate family, a shortened reception, and flying in a priest to preside because our current one is on medical leave.
These are just some of the changes, but when you frame the situation from the question “What is essential,” then it would be the sacrament of marriage, family, and safety. I was curious to look up the definition of essential and a common definition was something extremely important. In the case of a wedding (a Roman Catholic one at that), the only thing really essential is the sacrament. Sure there is preparation that takes place before hand, but one’s family does not necessarily have to be there. Safety is important too, but that is to be presumed.
Four weeks out from the wedding, with new details and challenges emerging from the pandemic, I find myself asking the question, “What is essential?” It’s a fundamental question that is a human question. Our desires ultimately lead us to happiness and fulfillment. We will never get to that point if we do not have a singular focus to work towards. Asking such a human question can help one to find some consolation because it’s an opportunity to learn to let go of situations that aren’t fully in your control.
If you ever find yourself in a situation where many details surrounding decision makes choosing difficult, ask yourself, “What is essential?”
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